Thursday, August 09, 2007

You know you're from Maine if... (long)

1.. you've had arguments over the comparative qualityof Fried Dough. Yes
2.. you get four inches of snow and you call it "a dusting."
3.. your neighbor's house was foreclosed after an unlucky 24 hour mini-cruise on the Scotia Prince.
4.. you don't understand why there aren't fried clamshacks elsewhere in the country.
5.. you know what an Irving is and the location of 15 of them. Absolutely
6.. you knew all the flavors at Perry's Nut House.
7.. your car is covered in yellow-green dust in May. Sigh
8.. you can drive the Augusta rotaries without slowing down. Yep
9.. you've hung out at a gravel pit.
10.. you think a mosquito could be a species of bird.
11.. you once skipped school and went to Bar Harbor, Old Orchard Beach or Reid State Park.
12.. even your school cafeteria made good chowder.
13.. you've almost fallen asleep driving between Houlton and Presque Isle .
14.. you know how to pronounce Calais and Machias. Yes
15.. you've made a meal out of a Jordan's red dye hotdog, a bag of Humpty Dumpty potato chips and a can of soda. Yep
16.. you've gone to a Grange bean supper. Yes
17.. in high school, you (or a friend) packed Deering Ice Cream cones. Yes
18.. at least once in your life, a seagull pooped on your head.
19.. at least once in your life you've said, "It smells like the mill in here." Yep
20.. there's a fruit and vegetable stand within 10 minutes of your house.
21.. you have shopped at the Big Chicken Barn.
22.. your idea of a traffic jam is being the second car at the stoplight.
23.. you wonder out loud if the state can just close its borders to people from away.
24.. your house converts to a B&B every July & August for people from away that you happen to know.
25.. all year long you're tracking sand in the house; from the beach in the summer and the roads and sidewalks in the winter.
26.. you have a front door but no steps to get to it.
27.. you use "wicked" as a multi-purpose part of speech. Use to
28.. you have to have the sand cleaned out of your brake system every spring.
29.. you do the majority of your shopping out of Uncle Henry's.
30.. you've ditched the car on the side of the road somewhere because you thought you saw some good fiddleheads!
31.. you've had a vacation from school just to help the family pick potatoes.
32.. you know a lobster pot is a trap, not a kettle. Of course!
33.. you know not to plant tender crops until the last full moon in May.
34.. when you go to the dump and bring back more than you brought.
35.. when people from "away" ask for directions and you intentionally led them in the opposite direction they wanted to go.
36.. you watch "Murder She Wrote" and snicker at the stupid fake accents.
37.. you know how to find the rope swing at the quarry.
38.. you take the New Hampshire toll personally. Yes
39.. you feel really really good when you cross the Piscatiqua River bridge into Kittery. I read the sign out loud almost every time
40.. you always wave when you see a Maine license plate in another state.
41.. a roll of duct tape and a can of flat black spray paint will get your car to pass inspection.
42.. you know how to avoid all the traffic at the Fryeburg Fair by using the "Secret Entrance".
43.. you have to replace your mailbox yearly because ofthe town plow.
44.. you know how to get from Cumberland to Fryeburg via the "Egypt Road".
45.. you can remember when the "Egypt Road" was a dirt track through the woods.
46.. when you're supposed to dress up, you wear plaid flannel with a tie.
47.. you know that Moody's Diner does NOT take credit cards!
48.. you actually miss the fifteen below zero mornings in winter (that have been eliminated by the greenhouse effect) because you enjoyed running or walking to workin the silent crystal stillness, punctuated by an idling car engine as the owner waited indoors for the car to warm up before his mad dash from warmth to warmth, and your lungs did not freeze; thank you verymuch for your concern.
49.. the word "stove" refers to what you did to the right front fender of your truck after you've had a wicked bring-up on a rock.
50.. there's too much "stuff" in your 2 "cah" garage to get either of your cars into it.
51.. you know what a frappe is. Yum!
52.. you know the smell of Woodsmens fly dope.
53.. you eat supper at night and dinner at noon.
54.. your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
55.. "vacation" means going to the Allagash for the weekend.
56.. you measure distance in hours. Still do!
57.. you know several people who have hit moose more than once.
58.. you often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
59.. you use a down comforter in the summer.
60.. your grandparents drive at 65 mph through 13 fee to snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
61.. you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
62.. you install security lights on your house and garage and leave them both unlocked.
63.. you think of the major food groups as moose meat, beer, fish, and berries.
64.. you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
65.. there are 4 empty cars running in the parking lot at the convenience store at any given time.
66.. you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
67.. driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
68.. you think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas.
69.. you know all 4 seasons: almost wintah, wintah, still wintah and construction.
70.. you know what it means when someone says they are going upstreet.
71.. rumble strip warn not of toll booths, but moose crossings.
72.. school kids toss their lunch (homemade bread and lobster sandwiches) in the wastebasket because they have them so often.
73.. you can actually see the milky way. Yes
74.. you can use your brights on the highway. Yes
75.. L.L. Bean's not just a store, it's a way of life. Absolutely
76.. you encounter any sign reading: "Next Exit: 246 miles".
77.. the nearest mall is 2 hours away.
78.. you have to yield for snowmobiles.
79.. lobster is $1.00 a pound.
80.. the state closes down at five o'clock.
81.. "The City" means exclusively Portland. Yes
82.. "salt damage" is a viable insurance claim.
83.. all of the traffic lights blink yellow at 10 o'clock at night.
84.. it's not a storm, it's a nor'eastah.
85.. open 24/7 might as well be Greek.
86.. you say room and people think you are saying rum.
87.. you can buy a minivan with four wheel drive and chained tires.
88.. all addresses start with RR# Mine use to!
89.. you've seen a woman mowing her lawn in the nude.
90.. a rest stop means a pit toilet and a picnic table.
91.. you know Moxie isn't a woman's magazine. Yes
92.. you know that L/A doesn't mean a city in California. Yes
93.. you know who "Marty on the mountain" is.
94.. you go "off-roading" before and after school.
95.. you just go for rides in your truck around town for no apparent reason other than to take a ride in your truck around town.
96.. you get turned on when you see a big pickup witha loud muffler.
97.. you diet all week so you can consume 40,000 calories at a fair. Yes
98.. you eat ice cream with flavors like 'MooseTracks" and "Maine Black Bear".
99.. you know that a chocolate doughnut is not a white doughnut with chocolate frosting. Yes
100.. you call any long sandwich an "Italian". Yes
101.. you know what fly dope is. Yes
102.. you eat potato chips with flavors such as "clamdip", "ketchup" and "dill pickle". Yes
103.. the smell of clam flats at low tide, while disgusting, brings back fond memories of childhood trips to the beach.
104.. you call the basement "downcellah." Sometimes
105.. your grandmother called shorts "shots".
106.. you live in a mobile home and have a brand new car and a satellite dish.
107.. you see a beat up Ford Pickup with a bumber sticker that reads: "I'd rather be bowhunting."
108.. you can hum the tune of "You should have bought it when you saw it at Mardens?" Yes
109.. you actually know what "Cumby's" is. Yes
110..You know what the Old Port is. Yes
111..You understand the theory behind Dimillo'sfloating restaurant. Umm...